Fiči má v Japonsku!: Why Japanese People Can’t Speak English: The Invisible Wall Keeping Japan in Isolation

Disclaimer: This article was translated from the original Czech version with the help of AI, but I have personally proofread and edited it to ensure it captures my actual voice.

Man, I’m on fire. Two articles back-to-back? That’s unheard of (and won't happen again for a while). Let's mix it up with something purely Japanese and super interesting.

The Hook

A lot of people back in Czech-land are shocked when I mention that almost nobody in Japan can actually speak English. I take it as a given now since I’ve learned some Japanese, so I’m not totally lost and the lack of English doesn’t bother me as much—I can at least vaguely follow what’s going on. But this topic has been stuck in my head for a long time, and I have mixed feelings about it. It bugs me, it saddens me, and honestly, I think it’s a relatively simple fix that just... won’t happen in Japan. Let’s look at why, and how to fix it. The problem has a name: Katakana.

For those who don't know, Katakana is the alphabet Japanese people use for foreign words, onomatopoeia, and foreign names/places. The catch? The pronunciation is identical to Hiragana (used for native Japanese). Functionally, this means anything "converted" from a foreign language into Katakana is automatically dragged down into Japanese pronunciation.

Homework Horror

The reason I finally decided to write this is that we recently visited some local friends. They asked me if I could help their daughter (about 5th grade) with her English homework and chat with her for a bit. I thought, "Sure, no problem, at least I’ll see how they teach English here." Well, I saw it, and I wasn’t happy. Japanese workbooks have English phrases, but right underneath them, everything is neatly written in Katakana. This leads to the kid ignoring the Latin script entirely, immediately butchering it into Katakana sounds, and effectively killing any chance of real comprehension or pronunciation.

I later found out it’s totally normal in Japanese classrooms to speak this "Katakana English" during English lessons. So when I tried to say something to the poor girl in actual English, she had no clue. I’m talking "What is your name" level stuff—nothing. They just learn how to write the word in Latin script for the test, map that "butchered" Katakana sound to it, and that’s it. I left that night in shock, realizing this isn't an outlier—it’s the standard.

Where did Katakana come from?

For a while, I was rocking a conspiracy theory that Katakana was invented on purpose to hinder integration into the Western world and keep "Japan for the Japanese." But then I did some reading. It was actually invented in the 9th century by Buddhist monks who were translating Chinese texts and needed quick shorthand notes. They took complex characters, simplified them into fewer strokes, and boom—Katakana.

The problem is that Katakana isn't designed for Japanese people to understand the world; it’s designed to help them understand it within a Japanese context. It’s a filter that turns an incomprehensible foreign word into a "digestible" Japanese form.

Phonetic Apocalypse

"What's the big deal? They just transcribe it into symbols they know," you might say. Well, the problem is that the pronunciation is TOTALLY Fucked.

Homonyms – One Sound to Rule Them All

Imagine a word in Katakana: "バス" (basu). Quick quiz—what does it mean?

a) bus

b) bath

c) bass (Guitar)

d) bass (The fish)

Answer: All of the above.

Or take "ライト" (raito):

a) light

b) right

c) write

All correct. Not to mention when someone tries to tell you something is on planet Earth and proclaims: "It izu on assu."

Wasei-eigo (Japan-made English)

Then there are abbreviations. Japanese people love shortening long words. But when they apply this to English-turned-Katakana words, we get:

Potechi (ポテチ): Potato Chips

Sumaho (スマホ): Smartphone

Pasokon (パソコン): Personal Computer

Rimokon (リモコン): Remote Control

My presonal favourite: Konsento (コンセント): From "concentric plug," but it means power outlet. Good luck finding "consent" in a Japanese coffee shop.

Baikingu (バイキング): ...wait, viking?

This means "buffet." It comes from 1958 when the Imperial Hotel opened a "Smörgåsbord" style restaurant, but the word was unpronounceable, so they named it after the movie The Vikings. So if a Japanese person invites you to a "viking," you don't know if they want breakfast, a ride on a motorcycle or if they're planning to raid England.

The Mental Prison

I think once your brain gets used to "Smartphone" being "Sumaho," you lose the ability to hear the original sound. This is why my wife (who is easily in the top 5% of English-speaking Japanese people) still occasionally texts me that we’re having "flied fish" for dinner.

In 2023, the MEXT (Ministry of Education) tests found that 63% of junior high students scored ZERO on the speaking section. It’s not that they were silent; the digital system simply couldn't recognize their sounds as English because they were so deformed by Katakana. "McDonald's" becomes "Makudonarudo."

Another huge problem is, of course, the Japanese teachers of English (JTEs). I definitely don't mean to disrespect anyone, it's just that many of them went through the same system, so their own pronunciation is shaky at best by no fault of their own. They teach kids using Katakana because that's the only way they know how to teach. Then there's the classroom dynamic: if a kid tries to pronounce a word with proper English, the other kids often laugh at them for "showing off."

For context: in the 2023 EF English Proficiency Index, Japan ranked 87th out of 113 countries, landing in the "Low Proficiency" band. For comparison, the Czech Republic was 23rd, and I definitely don't think we are some English gods back home.

So now that we've explained it all, I’ll say it loud and clear:

Katakana in English classes is self-sabotage.

Visually: Creates dependency. The kid sees Latin script as just decoration.
Acoustically: Destroys the ability to hear differences in English pronunciation.
Psychologically: Fixes English as a "dialect of Japanese," effectively isolating it.

And about the kids. They aren't stupid. On the contrary, I think Japanese kids are diligent and want to learn. They are just victims of a system rigged against them from the start. Unfortunately, this also means that if a Japanese kid wants to learn proper English, they basically have to learn this Katakana disaster on top of it, just so they don't look like an idiot in school.

The worst part is that since there aren't that many foreigners in Japan, these kids often have no one to practice with. I imagine it must be a crushing disappointment to study something for 9 years, think you know it, and then the first time you try to speak to a native speaker, you realize they simply cannot understand you.

Voices from the Front Line (ALT Reddit stories)

Speaking of native speakers, Japan actually has a massive system for importing them into schools. They are called "ALTs" (Assistant Language Teachers). The idea is that they come in for 1–2 hours a week to help the kids with proper pronunciation and actual communication—basically to serve as a "real life" example of the language. I’m pretty sure most of them are genuinely trying to do a good job, but despite their best efforts, the system often grinds them down. Just take a look at Reddit, which is absolutely full of threads where they go to vent their frustrations. Here are a few examples I collected:

"I’m teaching the phrase 'What do you want?'. I point to the card with the English text. The kids are silent. Then they look down at their cheat sheets, spot the Katakana (ワット・ドゥ・ユー・ウォント), and scream in unison: WATTO DU JÚ UONTO! In that exact moment, the pronunciation lesson is dead on arrival. Once they read it in Katakana, they will never hear that soft 'w' or the 't' at the end ever again."
"I spend an hour and a half trying to teach phonics. Then the Japanese teacher walks in, picks up a piece of chalk, and writes Katakana over the English words so the kids can 'take notes.' It’s like trying to build a house while someone else is actively digging out the foundations from under you."
"The thing that destroys me is the endless 'U' at the end of every word. I teach the word 'Pink'. The whole class shouts 'PINKU!'. I try to explain it ends with a hard 'K', not 'KU', but they just look at their notes where it says ピンク (Pinku), and they trust that piece of paper more than my actual voice. Katakana is basically their operating system, and I’m trying to install incompatible software."
"I had a kid in 5th grade who lived in Canada for a year. He spoke perfect English. But the moment he had to read something in class, he purposely used the worst Katakana-English imaginable. When I asked him why, he said he didn't want to look like a 'show-off'. The system basically punishes anyone who tries to jump over that invisible wall."

(r/teachinginjapan, r/JETProgram)

Okay, I’m ranting again

Let's wrap this up with how to fix it. Honestly, it’s pretty simple. So, dear Japan, if you are reading this, please:

Remove Katakana from English lessons entirely.
Encourage kids to consume media purely in English.
Trust the native speakers and ALTs you are actually paying.

Sorted by importance. Using Katakana in English textbooks is, in my opinion, basically teaching illiteracy in a foreign language. It’s like learning to play the piano by just writing 1-2-3-4-5 on the keys and pressing them by the numbers, without ever knowing what a note or a tone actually is. Or better yet, it's like studying Japanese only using romaji.

Regarding point #2 – in Japan, you almost never encounter movies in the original language with subtitles. Everything is dubbed.

In recent years, some schools have started to realize this and are banning Katakana in English classes. I’m just afraid it’s too little, too late, and that any real improvement will take a painfully long time.

The Final Argument And finally, we have to address the classic argument: "You are in Japan, so speak Japanese." If you are a proponent of this argument, congratulations. You have absolutely missed the point, and I think you are an idiot.

Engrish Now, let’s enjoy a proper batch of Japanese English, because it fits the theme perfectly today. At least this destruction of language is good for something—comedy.